


How (Some) People Found Out That Peter Parker is Spiderman

by Ninjababe



Series: Deadpool's Dating? [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Harry Potter References, Humor, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 17:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9668141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninjababe/pseuds/Ninjababe
Summary: This is a few quick scenes of some of the characters finding out Spiderman’s secret identity. Plus, a bonus ‘assistants club’ lunch!





	

**Author's Note:**

> This has actually been written in shorthand for over a year… I just hadn’t been able to polish it before now. The first scene stopped me from finishing this. But, when I decided not to do my 'Die Hard' opus, it worked out!

Peter was happily playing with chemicals according to the notes Bruce had left him when his ‘spidey senses’ went off. A few moments later, Peter found himself hanging from the ceiling on the other side of the lab, coughing from the smoke of the explosion that had happened nearby. 

A short time later, the automatic ventilation system pulled the smoke out of the room.

“What happened?” Peter asked as he dropped down from the ceiling in a crouch before standing and brushing off his clothes.

“It seems a previous tenant decided to use heat their food in a beaker and left debris,” JARVIS replied. “I have sent a note to human resources about the incident.”

“Thanks, J,” Peter replied as he scratched the back of his head.

“That is... an interesting piece of data,” JARVIS stated, sounding hesitant.

Sighing, Peter hung his head. “Yes, I am Spiderman. You’ll need to tell Mister Stark, won’t you?”

“Unless Sir asks me directly if you personally are Spiderman, your secret is safe with me.”

Peter grinned at the camera nearest him before going to start clean up. “J, you’re awesome!”

“Thank you, sir.” JARVIS replied smugly.

=====

Peter ran down the corridor, trying to adjust his tie as he went. Pausing at the door, he took a deep breath, flattened his hair, and smoothed out his suit. Only opening the door slightly, he slipped through and saw he was exactly where he wanted to be, in a shadowy area near the buffet. 

He was about to step fully into the room when Pepper stepped in front of him. “Just a moment.”

“Huh?” Peter replied intelligently.

Pepper pointed down.

Peter looked down at what should've been his black dress shoes, but were instead the boots of his Spiderman costume. In his haste, his dress pants had become tucked into one of the boots obviously showing the pattern on his boot, which matched his costume.  
“It's always better when the ensemble matches,” Pepper pointed out.

Peter just stared, horrified, at the immaculately dressed woman.

Grinning, Pepper put her hand on Peter’s shoulder and squeezed it gently. “Your secret’s safe with me.” Her grin widening into a smirk, she continued, “However, I am a bit disappointed that the threesome's will just be a figment of my imagination.”

“Uh uh umm…”

Waving towards the door Peter just came from, Pepper continued. “Go, finish changing. I'll cover for you.”

====

Darcy came into the lab Peter was working in and leaned in, staring closely at his face. 

Blinking, Peter asked, “What?”

“Last night, I was ‘rescued’ by the most talked about vigilante in New York, Spiderman. Granted, if he had waited a few moments more, I would’ve shown off my mad taser skills, but it was still awesome to watch.”

“Okay,” Peter replied, confused.

“So, how’s the nightlife for you?”

Peter looked perplexed. “I’m sorry?”

Darcy pulled a receipt out of her pocket and scribbled on it. Looking around, she angled the paper so it wasn’t visible to JARVIS’s sensors. 

Peter read ‘You’re Spiderman’ on the paper.

Getting nervous, Peter quietly asked, “What makes you say that?”

Just as quiet, Darcy replied, “You have the same voice. I recognized it immediately. You are, aren’t you.”

Knowing he wouldn’t get away with lying, Peter slumped and sighed. “Yes, I’m Spiderman.”

Frantically waving, Darcy made a shushing noise. “J!”

Laughing, Peter replied, “He’s known for weeks.”

“Yes, Miss Lewis. There was an unfortunate lab accident that Mister Parker was talented enough to evade due to his abilities.”

“Oh…” Darcy slumped. “Who else knows? So I don’t mess up.”

“Miss Potts and my boyfriend,” Peter replied with a shrug.

“Okay,” Darcy stated, blinking rapidly. “Deadpool doing a comparison and contrast on yours and Spiderman’s ass is now really weird.”

=====

Glancing around the semi-private booth that contained the ‘assistant’s club’, Wade nodded. “I call the Peter’s entirely necessary intrigue scheme meeting to order.”

“Mister Wilson, I do not believe we can call this meeting ‘penis’,” JARVIS noted from the speaker of Pepper’s phone.

“Yeah, we’re not naming it that,” Peter pointed out as he protected his garlic breadsticks from Darcy.

“I can get behind it,” Darcy stated with a grin. “‘What did you talk about at lunch, Darcy?’ ‘Penis!'” She almost fell off the bench seat giggling.

“There really isn’t any reason that Peter needs to keep his secret from the others,” Pepper pointed out as she delicately picked up her martini glass. “The world, I agree with, but Tony, Bruce, and the others? No.”

“But, that’s just one step away from the anagram we shall not name finding out!” Deadpool exclaimed.

“Voldemort?” Darcy asked between gasps of breath.

“Yeah, let’s call it Voldemort,” Wade grinned.

Peter sighed, looking fondly at his boyfriend. “Ok, Potter, why did we need to talk about this?”

“I’m Hermoine!” Darcy blurted out.

“I refuse to be Ron, even if I do have the hair color,” Pepper calmly stated as she waved her glass at the waiter.

“Me either,” Peter replied.

“I don’t want to be Potter,” Wade pouted, throwing a tortellini from his plate at Peter.

The meeting then devolved into an epic food fight that got four other tables involved. It was only because Pepper Potts was involved that it a) didn’t hit the media, and b) didn’t get anyone thrown out.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this whole thing came about because Deadpool wanted to make a penis joke. Sigh...


End file.
